First, an apology \u2014 yes, I\u2019ve changed the name of this blog again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve decided to write elsewhere about child estrangement, which means this space can finally become what I think it was always meant to be: a place to talk about aging. Not in a clinical or distant way, but honestly, personally, and maybe even a little humorously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because aging is something that belongs to all of us.
It just becomes louder \u2014 harder to ignore \u2014 after fifty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which, incidentally, is exactly where I find myself now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fifty.
An age that doesn\u2019t quite feel old\u2026 but definitely isn\u2019t young either.
\u201cAlmost old,\u201d perhaps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That phrase has been sitting with me for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then, last month, my mother turned 100.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes \u2014 one hundred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were cakes. Plural. Because at that point, one cake feels insufficient for the occasion. There were candles, laughter, and the kind of disbelief that spreads across people\u2019s faces when they hear a number like that. Their mouths quite literally fall open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve learned to quickly add an explanation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe had her children late \u2014 all three of us in her forties.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m the middle one, of course. That feels somehow fitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still, no explanation quite softens the impact of that number.
One hundred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People always say, \u201cYou\u2019re only as old as you feel.\u201d
But I\u2019ll tell you something they don\u2019t mention \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When your mother reaches three digits, you suddenly feel older than you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s like time stretches in both directions at once. You\u2019re still someone\u2019s child\u2026 but also standing much closer to the edge of something you can\u2019t quite define.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then, of course, there\u2019s menopause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not exactly a dinner party topic, but impossible to ignore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Statistically, it\u2019s one of the most vulnerable periods in a woman\u2019s life \u2014 something we rarely talk about openly. There\u2019s this assumption that vulnerability belongs to youth, to teenagers navigating identity and uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that\u2019s not entirely true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At least they have youth to fall back on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The world is built around youth. It celebrates it, protects it, markets to it. You don\u2019t fully realize that until you start to drift out of that category yourself \u2014 slowly, quietly, almost without noticing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then one day, you do notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Menopause doesn\u2019t arrive politely either.
It doesn\u2019t ease its way in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s disruptive. Erratic. Intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The body resists the transition as if it\u2019s arguing with itself \u2014 as if something inside you is unwilling to let go of what once defined it. The rhythms you\u2019ve known for decades suddenly become unpredictable, almost defiant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It goes down with a fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why?
No one seems to have a satisfying answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps it\u2019s nature\u2019s blunt way of saying:
\u201cThat chapter is over.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And yet\u2026 that\u2019s not the whole story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because alongside all of this \u2014 the discomfort, the confusion, the quiet grief of change \u2014 I\u2019ve started to notice something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something unexpected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not a decline, not a fading\u2026 but an edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A sharper awareness.
A different kind of confidence.
A strange freedom in no longer needing to perform youth for the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not something I fully understand yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I\u2019m curious about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Curious enough, in fact, that I\u2019ve started shaping the idea into something else entirely \u2014 a stand-up concept I might call \u201cAlmost Old.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because maybe this stage of life isn\u2019t just something to endure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe it\u2019s something to explore\u2026 and even laugh about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not sure yet how the idea will land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Give me a week or so \u2014 I\u2019ll let you know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"